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By Melissa Lauber
UMConnection Staff

On May 30, more than 850 members of the Baltimore-Washington Conference gathered in small groups in the ballroom at the Waterfront Marriott Hotel to participate in holy conferencing as they attempted to discern God’s will on issues of human sexuality – issues that for decades have deeply divided the church.

“My opinion matters!!!” Donavan Parris, a youth lay member from the Greater Washington District wrote in the evaluation of the process.

It was that sentiment that led Bishop Marcus Matthews and the Session Committee to deviate from the more traditional debate format from the beginning. Robert’s Rules of Order, which allow only six people to speak for two minutes each on any resolution, limited conversation and created a sense of winners and losers, the bishop said. The “circles of grace,” as they were called, allowed everyone to be heard.

So on Friday evening, the ballroom was re-arranged into 110 circles of 10 chairs each. Each circle had a facilitator, three questions and a toy bridge that was passed from person to person in an invitational method of conversation.

To hear one another, members had to lean into the circle as they discussed the five resolutions. The resolutions revolved around: eliminating discrimination of gays and lesbians in West Virginia, doing away with trials for clergy who perform same-gender marriages, becoming an inclusive conference, removing discriminatory language from the Book of Discipline and agreeing to disagree on the church’s response to LGBT people.

Following the discussion, balloting was done. The results were announced the following morning. All five resolutions passed with the following vote totals:

• Eliminating discrimination in West Virginia-- 806 in favor and 49 opposed.
• Stop clergy trials – 519 in favor and 334 opposed.
• Agree to disagree – 549 in favor and 304 opposed.
• Inclusive conference – 548 in favor and 304 opposed.
• Removing discriminatory language from the Book of Discipline – 511 in favor and 344 opposed.

For many of the members, the process of holy conferencing meant more than the results of the vote. “I was hesitant, but I have never been so in love with the church,” one person wrote. “Usually this discussion brings up ‘black and white’ opinions. This conversation brought out the many colors of thought that go into spiritual discernment,” said another.

Others just said thank you, noting that “the Spirit surprises me every time.” One member wrote: “For the first time in 10 years, someone other than God heard my thoughts.”

Not all of the evaluations were positive. About 40 people expressed reservations about not carrying out the more traditional debate in the larger plenary setting. One person wrote, “This left me in despair.”

Parris, the youth from Greater Washington, wrote, “I do not like seeing people so angry at their ‘neighbor,’ but nodding politely as if they agree…. Stop not loving everyone as you love God…. I want no part of this government if I have to vote on loving.”

As the conference drew to a close the next morning, two rulings of law were requested. The first, from the Rev. Stephen Ricketts of Providence-Fort Washington UMC, questioned if the vote on the resolutions was legal and in compliance with the 2012 Book of Discipline since there was no chance to offer amendments. The second was requested by Matthew Sichel of Wesley UMC in Hampstead. He asked if the Resolution to Agree to Disagree on Issues Pertaining to Gender and Sexual Minorities is in compliance with paragraph 2702.1(b) of the Book of Discipline and Judicial Council Decisions 1111, 1115, 1120, 1218.

Bishop Matthews has 30 days to make the ruling, which will be published on the conference website.

When the voting was completed, members decide together upon one word that summarized their collective response to the circle experience and write it on their toy bridge talking stick. Love, respect, hope and grace were the most common responses. (See the sidebar for the other “words that bridge.’)

The toy bridges, reflecting the theme of the conference of “Building Bridges: Be Love,” were then linked as one across the front of the stage.

As the session came to a close, Bishop Matthews asked those assembled to “stay open to the mystery. …There is always more love to be shared,” he said. “There is always more of God.”